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Monday 11 April 2016

This is my writing assessment. I have worked on improving it's punctuation, spelling and vocabulary.

Warning some scenes in this story might get your brain disturbed. So I recommend for you to read on but beware.


One beautiful afternoon me and my family traveled to Kerikeri to catch the bus, for a beautiful day in Auckland, so that's what we thought. We gathered all of our important things that we needed like Extra drinks, phones to contact each other and extra money to buy some yummy food, just incase we get a little hungry. We all jumped in the car and traveled all the way to Kerikeri.


By the time we got to KeriKeri my mum could hear my snoring HUUUHHHHH WWWHHHHUUUUUUIIIII!!!!! I sounded like a oinking pig in my cozy bed. My mum woke me up with surprise. “Hah are we already in KeriKeri?,” “yes now get up the bus is about to go,” my mum replied. I quickly rubbed my eyes open just incase my mum just joking But it turned out, she was telling the truth so I jumped up, ran out of the car, ran to the back of the car and stuffed my hands with as much as money as I could. I ran to the bus and I gave it to the conductor to put away. HHHHHUUUUUUHH by the time I sat down my mum told me “don't go to sleep, we might get to Welsford and buy some stuff and you might be still sleeping,” “ok I’ll stay up as long as I can.” My eye’s were owl eyes.


When we got into Welsford I kept on roaring like a lion to my “MUM MUM CAN I HAVE A TURN ON YOUR PHONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE,” “NO” (my mum is always focused on her phone) We came to a sudden stop and I felt a weird feeling coming up my throat ( do you know the feeling) I tried to keep it in but I just couldn’t keep it in, and when I nodded my head three times it was finally released. BLUUUUUHHHHH!!!! I ran as fast as a dog chasing after a sheep out and went to the side of the kerb. BLUHHH BLAHHH BLAHHHH!!! It was if it was a continuous waterfall but with chunky food in it and gross orange stuff like orange juice with pulp in it.

So what I learnt was to always bring a extra bag on the bus just incase there will be a little or even BIG accident on the bus.